Dear Bella - Part Deux
Over the weekend Steph was being a jerk. I know I know, not that unusual. But more than that she was being emotional, crying about being mad a a friend, something didn't go right, missed connection. She was going on and on and for the life of me I couldn't figure out the real issue. Finally I just yelled, WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?! She started sobbing, climbed her almost 5 foot body into my lap and said very softly, "Mom, I miss her so much" and I realized she was talking about you.
Tomorrow will be 1 year since she said goodbye to you.
I think about you a lot, but mostly I think about your family and how they must feel. I think about your mom who is so beautiful and amazing. She is always so sweet to invite your friends to your sister's birthday and other events. She looks happy when I see her and always offers a smile or hug to the girls. I think about your Aunt Sarah and how committed she was to your care and to supporting your family. She loved you like no other. I always wished I had an Aunt like her in my life. But I didn't... so its nice to see that kind of love, a love I never knew existed. I think about your Grandma Cindy. I sometimes feel like grandparents carry the heaviest burden. Not only is she grieving you, but she is grieving for her own child and her pain. Stephanie loves your Grandma, asks me all the time how she is doing and loves seeing her when she comes to the school or around town. I think about Kiana. That girl is so fun! I know why you loved her. She and Steph have developed quite the friendship. But I know and Steph knows that you will always be her soulmate. I think about Ms. Arai and her hilarious encounters with you as your teacher. I don't think I've ever met a teacher like that, one that has gone so above and beyond the call of duty. I think about your friends at Cabrillo and how abnormal it is to say that they lost a friend at 10 and how much they love you and miss you.
I think about how lucky I am to be a part of a community who took care of each other, supported each other and supported you. You are remembered and so very loved.
Wishing you peace...always,
Kristen
Tomorrow will be 1 year since she said goodbye to you.
I think about you a lot, but mostly I think about your family and how they must feel. I think about your mom who is so beautiful and amazing. She is always so sweet to invite your friends to your sister's birthday and other events. She looks happy when I see her and always offers a smile or hug to the girls. I think about your Aunt Sarah and how committed she was to your care and to supporting your family. She loved you like no other. I always wished I had an Aunt like her in my life. But I didn't... so its nice to see that kind of love, a love I never knew existed. I think about your Grandma Cindy. I sometimes feel like grandparents carry the heaviest burden. Not only is she grieving you, but she is grieving for her own child and her pain. Stephanie loves your Grandma, asks me all the time how she is doing and loves seeing her when she comes to the school or around town. I think about Kiana. That girl is so fun! I know why you loved her. She and Steph have developed quite the friendship. But I know and Steph knows that you will always be her soulmate. I think about Ms. Arai and her hilarious encounters with you as your teacher. I don't think I've ever met a teacher like that, one that has gone so above and beyond the call of duty. I think about your friends at Cabrillo and how abnormal it is to say that they lost a friend at 10 and how much they love you and miss you.
I think about how lucky I am to be a part of a community who took care of each other, supported each other and supported you. You are remembered and so very loved.
Wishing you peace...always,
Kristen
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